11th Mar 2010
Easy ten points, what do you think of these lyrics. longish.?
im 14, and most of the time i can do pretty good lyrics and tunes, i'm quite musical and i've always been good at creative writing and poetry.
but the one i started working on last night, i kind of woke up with the idea of it in my head, and jotted down like a few verses in a notebook
i've been looking over them this morning and i dont know wehter i like them now...
can you tell me your honest opinion? they arnt in any order, this is just some random verses i jotted down last night:
THE STICK BOY AND THE PHOENIX.
"The sun is shining high
In the sky today
Its perfect weather
For little boys who want to play
But the stick boy,
No, hes not doing that
if I were to move,
My bones would shake and they would snap
Down in the valley
The little stick boy groans
Pencil thin arms
No fingers, joints, no knees or toes
I have no body
So why should I dream?
My love, I ll hide away
Forever I shall sleep! "
that would be the intro, wich is actually kind of in an okay order.
then i just have some random ones that i dont know where to put, but they'd be after a piano bridge.
Oh little stick boy,
Wont you come out to play?
My wings are tired
My feathers they will fall away
We ll go flying
I ll let you hold my flames
DONT KNOW WHAT LAST TWO LINES
Out from the ashes
I will sing my song
I will play my tune
And you can play along
Oh little stick boy,
No downpours today
I am not dying
Just coming home again
Fly from the fire
My song will be heard
I am on fire
I DONT KNOW WHAT LAST LINE
And I know
Strange things happen in the valley
DONT KNOW WHAT LAST TWO LINES"
i know the idea of the song is quite pointless, and a bit wolly
but i want it to be fun and kind fo sweet.
please tell me your opinions.
#If you have any other info about this subject , Please add it free.# |
Posted by jane under enart.88083.com |
